Arthur D. Hlavaty

We may have a winner in the pucoming Narrow Loins Bad Sex Writing Award. From Morrisey's List of the Lost:

Eliza and Ezra rolled together into the one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, screaming and shouting as they playfully bit and pulled at each other in a dangerous and clamorous rollercoaster coil of sexually violent rotation with Eliza’s breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra’s howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza’s body except for the otherwise central zone.

Tom Wolfe himself could not have phrased it better.

Thanx to Metafilter