supergee | Cafeteria

When John F. Kennedy ran for president in 1960, many Americans believed that a Roman Catholic president would be a mindless tool of the Vatican. Kennedy made a great speech refuting* that paranoid delusion. When Rick Santorum said the speech disgusted him. I guessed that he was proud to be a mindless tool of the Vatican, but I was mistaken.

Some Catholic theologians believe that their theology is so perfectly consistent that one cannot accept part without accepting all of it. (So did Ayn Rand, but that's not important now.) Those who committed that error were called "cafeteria Catholics."

Rick Santorum is a cafeteria Catholic. He is wildly enthusiastic about the parts where all are supposed to take orders about sex from old men in dresses who are specifically forbidden from knowing what they are talking about. He is willing to ignore the equally mandatory parts about duties to resist tyranny and help the poor.

Catholicism is a shit sandwich. Rick Santorum wants to throw the bread away.

*Not just denying. That's one of the distinctions the Language Police are right about.