Victim blaming

[supergee]

It seems to me that one can discuss techniques of avoiding armed robbers without denying that armed robbery is entirely the perp's fault, no matter how many or how few of the techniques the victim took advantage of. This approach strikes me as the only good way to discuss the victim's role in both rape and bullying. rm has some intelligent thoughts on this issue.

Comments

[serene]

I will read rm's thoughts in a minute, but it seems to me that the *way* it's discussed can't be divorced from the *when*, and from the other contexts, such as how much dismissiveness is involved. The victim's role in rape and bullying, as you put it, is a delicate and painful issue for them (read: us), and focusing on what they could (usually presented as "should") have done to mitigate the pain (and, often, horror) is something most people cannot pull of without being clueless, offensive, hurtful gits. As someone who was lucky enough to survive being raped and nearly murdered, I have VERY little patience for these kinds of discussions, not because I don't think there are varying levels of wisdom of a number of personal-protection strategies, but because I have spent the 20 years since the day I was attacked dealing with idiots who claim that they're just trying to protect people like me when they put the (implicit or explicit) onus of protection onto the victim.