Newspaper of record

bart_calendar summarizes how The New York Times copulated the canine (NSFW, uses language).

Verbal grooming behavior

Sometimes I have as much trouble understanding extraverts as some people have with opposite sexual orientations. I called my hearing-aid place and told the receptionist I needed an emergency appointment because one aid was broken and I could hardly hear at all. When I got there, she engaged me in a lengthy mundane conversation.

I don't know if this is accurate

There's a meme going around saying, "More Americans died in the last hour from their governor blocking Medicaid expansion than died at Benghazi." I dunno, maybe it's a whole day.