An interesting mix. The first part rings true, though I haven't done the searches she mentions - and I'm aware that google gives different results to different people doing the same search.
The second part? Yet another person insisting that people like me are broken, and should be focussing on developing relationships in order to be happy/sane/safe for others to be around/whatever. Yes, it pushed a button, to the point where I wasn't noticing much other than the statements about those with the "avoidant" attachment style. The best thing I ever did for myself was to throw out the common wisdom that said I should "work at" relationships and "needed" them - even though I was experiencing the ones I had as pointless and unpleasant. Now that I'm aging, there's a constant litany of advice that the most important thing I need for old age is - relationships. Not retirement funds, not planning, not realistic expectations, not even good health or common sense. Relationships. And I'm aspie - most people's idea of "friendship" actively disagrees with me. So now I'm hypersensitive again, after decades of happily ignoring the whole cultural meme. (And no, saying that people like x shouldn't be blamed, and they can learn to be like y if they work at it is _not_ supportive or helpful to people like x. We're OK only if we're working at becoming something else.)
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2016-02-13 07:20 pm (UTC)The second part? Yet another person insisting that people like me are broken, and should be focussing on developing relationships in order to be happy/sane/safe for others to be around/whatever. Yes, it pushed a button, to the point where I wasn't noticing much other than the statements about those with the "avoidant" attachment style. The best thing I ever did for myself was to throw out the common wisdom that said I should "work at" relationships and "needed" them - even though I was experiencing the ones I had as pointless and unpleasant. Now that I'm aging, there's a constant litany of advice that the most important thing I need for old age is - relationships. Not retirement funds, not planning, not realistic expectations, not even good health or common sense. Relationships. And I'm aspie - most people's idea of "friendship" actively disagrees with me. So now I'm hypersensitive again, after decades of happily ignoring the whole cultural meme. (And no, saying that people like x shouldn't be blamed, and they can learn to be like y if they work at it is _not_ supportive or helpful to people like x. We're OK only if we're working at becoming something else.)