Touch

[supergee]

Suzette Haden Elgin (olev ha-sholem) said that many people are touch-dominant and relate to the world by making contact with it. My immediate reaction was that it would not be fun to work for such a person, especially if one is of a sex the boss is attracted to.

I have spent many years in a 12-step program in which hugging is mandatory. I didn’t like it at first, but thanks to much Remedial Hugging, I now do it competently.

Joe Biden appears to be touch-dominant. It is of course an order of magnitude different from our president’s pussy grabbing, but the culture is finally beginning to take personal space more seriously, even when the person violating it is a high-status white male who means well.

This strikes me as a sign that while Biden, Elizabeth Warren, and Bernie Sanders are great people who should keep doing what they’re doing indefinitely, I hope the Democratic presidential nominee is someone younger.

Comments

[cmcmck]

It's a strange thing.

The region in which we now live, the Midlands of the UK, is much more touchy feely than the one we came from down south.

USians seem to have real problems with personal touch as do many Brits, but I lived for some years in Belgium where 'le shakehand'(where men shake hands and touch) And bizoux (the double cheeked kiss and hug with both men and women) are just the norm.

[mrissa]

Is there a particular reason why you lumped Elizabeth Warren in with two men nearly a decade her senior who have had harassment/touch problems either themselves or in their campaigns? Is there a story I'm missing there?

Also I think you are conceding WAYYYYYY too much by saying "oh, he's touch-dominant and he means well." All sorts of people are touch-dominant and do not go around smelling colleagues' hair, and you have no idea how well he means, considering that people have been TELLING HIM THIS SHIT FOR YEARS without apparent behavioral change on his part.

[supergee]

I was treating touch dominance as one of the ways in which older candidates will have trouble dealing with changes.

[mrissa]

Women on average live longer and are healthier than men, and yet you have chosen to treat a female candidate who is nearly a full decade younger than two male candidates as the same age, instead of grouping Sen. Warren with Sen. Klobuchar, who is nearly as close to her in age as Biden and Sanders, but in the opposite direction. What bins you used to group candidate ages was a choice you made, not an inevitable fact of nature.

You have also grouped a candidate who--again, unless you have information I don't--does not have a history of these issues with two who do, on the basis of You Felt Like It.

We are going to get enough of this sloppy sexist bullshit from the media without having to take it from our friends. Do better, Arthur. Check yourself, and do much, much better.

[marahmarie]

I was dropping by to ask the same question but see that you beat me to it. Good work! Seeing EW's name lumped in with the others honestly made my jaw drop.

[carbonel]

Being a touch-dominant person doesn't mean that said person has any sort of right to nonconsensually touch me. This should not be a difficult thing for everyone to understand.

(Still annoyed over the man at a bar who kept rubbing my arm to -- I guess -- emphasize his point when he was talking. A friend I was with at the bar with had struck up the conversation, so I gritted my teeth and was polite. These days, I wouldn't keep my mouth shut.)

[minoanmiss]

Mrmn. I'm touch dominant, I would say, and yet I can keep my hands to myself. I even ask before I pet dogs and cats. This may be in part because society never told me I had the right to grab people as I would like.