supergee | (Reply)

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Leaving aside dreams where I'm inhabiting a role (as in "in this dream-movie I am playing a Japanese-American nurse in WWII" -- I still remember that one, it was epic) I have sometimes dreamt about being White, which annoys me both inside and outside the dream. My mind feels colonized and the situation feels wrong.

And I don't think I've ever dreamt about being male in that way (as opposed to inhabiting a role). I think it's because I've never thought of myself as inherently having that much power.

But/and wow, this therapist's particular internalization of unmarked groups as inherently normal is kind of spectacular. She reminds me of people who have said to me in irritation that people who speak other languages think in English and translate it into other languages to annoy English speakers. (more than one person! Who didn't know each other!) My inherent dream self is short, fat, Black, bi and female, like I am IRL, though she's now noticeably younger than I currently am, because dreams.

(I get woken up in the middle of my sleep cycle a lot, like I did today, so I think about my dreams a lot)