Alternatives

1.Tribal courts

2. Get a goat or two chickens instead of marrying off your teenage daughter.

Thanx to conuly

Extinction

Last Liberal Republican dead

Christmas confession

I am the musical equivalent of Tom Lehrer’s old mess sergeant, the one whose taste buds were shot off in the war. For instance, I love “MacArthur Park,” particularly the version by Waylon Jennings & the Kimberleys. And for this season I like “Little Drummer Boy.” Yes, I know that having someone play the drums to welcome a newborn baby is really dumb, but I like it anyway. I liked it by what I thought of as the Hairy Simian Chorale; I liked it when Johnny Cash, of all people, covered it; and I love the doo-wop version by the Tokens.

Ho ho ho

Christmas boobs, or the headlight on Santa’s sleigh