[personal profile] howlingsilence 2015-02-12 09:40 am (UTC)(link)
This is my thread! Here's a later comment from me:

I personally like and identify with the idea of a superposition of genders, rather than an absence of "male" or "female" identities, or a thin track in the mud, which reminds me of a continuum. I'm talking of the dual existence of both male and female identities, and not, say, the common feeling that I don't identify as female because most of my hobbies are traditionally considered masculine. I used to wonder if I was trans, but I don't consistently identify as male. When I do, it causes a considerable amount of dysphoria if I'm presenting as female. The term "woman" is problematic for me when it's used as an identifier: "This woman...".

Gender is a tricky thing. I want to make it clear that for me, and probably for an awful lot of genderfluid types, it's way different than being a tomboy or an effeminate man. I'm a tomboy as a woman, but that doesn't negate the male identity.

As for social construction of gender, I tend to agree with Norah Vincent in Self-Made Man where her time passing as a man leads her to conclude that the differences between genders are very real, but I probably don't want to try to paraphrase her too much. I think a lot of people are just trying to figure this stuff out for ourselves, without necessarily having any guides or role models to follow. We aren't experts in the dialogues surrounding gender theory. There's always more to learn.