"There goes the neighborhood"--unidentified Native American, 1492

"He knew the world was round-o
His balls hung to the ground-o
That navigatin', masturbatin'
Son of a bitch Columbo"--folk song to which T.S. Eliot wrote verses

"Columbus and his band slammed into these shores with all the force of a jet into a skyscraper"--The Rude Pundit