How do you deal with this?

Sep. 16th, 2017 11:00 pm
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[personal profile] cuboz
Started work at 10.27am today, and because of overtime earlier in the fortnight, today jumps from time and a half to double time... Helloooooo, new camera!

After work yesterday, when I got home, the girls enjoyed some belly rubs. Millie is almost DEMANDING of them now, and Eva is slowly getting used to having them too. Of course, once I start giving Millie tummy rubs, Eva has to come and investigate and be part of the action as well!

Today's shift was pretty uneventful.

Got home and was going through old e-mails, and I came across this one I received from a friend over a year ago. I won't identify them, but I will remember who I got it from... He's such a lovely man, who sadly lost his partner (an older gentleman) a few years ago. It's hard to stay in touch with him, because of my own depression, and because he lives a fair distance north, too.

Here it is, unedited:


"Hello

I so admire you have achieved

I think I am a reasonable person.

However without sounding sorry for my self, I am also a bad person.

Life has chewed me up.

I just don't have a lot of strength or self belief.

Always been the case.

Some how, I am an easy target and a soft touch.

I tried to fight the systems and unfairness of life.

I tried by volunteering, studying, being there for others, but do not have
the know how or strength to succeed in every day life.

I am not saying this for sympathy just acceptance and reality.

I ride on the coat tails of others.

As much as I now understand and can accept people who suicide as the pain
inside takes over, and leaves you weak, consumes you, I don't even have the
strength to do that.

I just have to acknowledge I have failed and forever suffer the
consequences.

I am not self medicating, drinking, gambling.

No one, especially those in the field understand

I am one of the LOST people in life.

Always been a worrier, needed stronger people around me.

I hate that at 46, I am a loser and cannot do much that needs to be done

I hate that after trying to be one of the good guys in society, life says it does not matter"




Now he actually did a group e-mail out, so I saw that he sent it to a few people. I do contact him occasionally, and thankfully, he hasn't gone down that path suggested in the e-mail. And he must be still grieving somewhat, although I know he has been seeing another guy for at least the last 2 years now. I certainly hope he's had the help and support he needs. He does sound rather similar to me - except he said he isn't gambling, whereas that was the path I chose for some time. I wonder what coping or avoiding techniques he uses...?

I should give him a call in the next few days. I always call him for his birthday, and he is one of the few people that I actually send a physical Xmas card too (along with a printed copy of my newsletter), just because of the nature of who he is... I also have him in my iCal, as a reminder to go and stay with him (as he has invited me to do). Of course, it's one of those entries that just keeps getting changed and moved and changed and moved... Time for me to lock it in, and not back out...






Belly Rubs

"Oh yeah... that's the spot!"



Belly Rubs

"I love this soooo much!"



Belly Rubs

"May I join in?"



Belly Rubs

"Yes. Me. It's all about me."

nuts and drugs

Sep. 21st, 2017 03:38 am
haertstitch: (Default)
[personal profile] haertstitch
a funny after image
the animals
are getting ready
for halloween

mg src="https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/21740178_1736847696621102_2274832157968277191_n.jpg?oh=8cae72c0de3e7c2789557d591eb26d79&oe=5A5ADFA5" alt='costumes for halloween' />

nutsRead more... )

I made peanut butter muffins and put rhubarb on top this time.
yum. its odd craving peanut butter-
but it is high in b vitamins.

its back to basics for cleaning
"https://www.ucdavis.edu/news/common-antiseptic-ingredients-de-energize-cells-and-impair-hormone-response"

having fiber optic internet
is really different doing "eyewire.org"
my accuracy has improved greatly seeing the whole cube of slides helps.
they've been improving it again so that messes
with things but its ok.
turned off gramerly on chrome and it quit trashing the screen.
yea!

London foxen

Sep. 21st, 2017 11:16 am
rydra_wong: Fragment of a Tube map, with stations renamed Piero della Francesca, Harpo, Socrates and Seneca. (walking -- the great bear)
[personal profile] rydra_wong posting in [community profile] common_nature
So yesterday I was waiting to cross a street in the middle of the day and I glanced at the person standing next to me and they were a fox.

We crossed the road and I fumbled for my phone and started following them ...

A fox walking down a London street in daylight.

Photo-story ensues )

The Blood is the Life for 21-09-2017

Sep. 21st, 2017 11:00 am
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[personal profile] miss_s_b

QotD

Sep. 21st, 2017 05:24 am
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[personal profile] dglenn

"Whatever your past has been, you have a spotless future" -- <not sure who said this>

[To my Jewish friends: Shanah Tovah!]

Killjoys Rewatch: s01e03

Sep. 21st, 2017 12:14 pm
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[personal profile] hagar_972
The first time around, I was very excited about this ep. It was genuinely good, it moved along and showed character development, the pacing was nice and slow enough to enjoy things, and if the science side was complete bullshit (neither solar flares nor human vision and brain development work this way) then I could ignore that because the rest was on.

Second time around, I already know how this season is going to go: there's going to be more bullshit "science", and not as much good writing, good pacing and the rest of that jazz. So second time around, I get to deal with the disappointment, and it's harder to enjoy what's good because the bad pops out so much more. And yet, at about halfway through the ep, it started Working anyway. And that? Shows how good it is.

Granted, this episode has one of my favorite moments in the entire season, when D'avin and Johnny get to sit down and talk just the two of them: "This time I got to stay and be the responsible one, and I loved it." In early S1, the D’avin we meet sold himself into slavery the first time he was responsible for his own life, wouldn’t talk about the shit he was going through and over which he hated himself to a degree that could’ve killed him, and generally would’ve been screwed if Dutch hadn’t adopted him. Compare and contrast with the D'avin of this episode, who’ll call attention to his fears and insist on it if he thinks the other person doesn’t take it seriously (Johnny's "D'av the magic pony scale line). This D’avin who neither needs nor wants to run, and will openly say he loves the new state of things.

And knowing the show will keep this up, that this thread will be revisited later in the season, and that D'avin'll get something to look after big enough it actually occupies all of his caretaking drive (and given he's got plenty spare even after everything Dutch and Johnny occupy, that's a lot) - that just makes it better.
[syndicated profile] avclub_memory_wipe_feed

Posted by Dan Caffrey

Before we begin, let’s get this out of the way: I promise not to make every South Park review about whether or not Trey Parker and Matt Stone bring up Donald Trump. But it’s worth mentioning again tonight because 1) It’s only the second episode of the 21st season and 2) It’s the first time this year he’s been…

Read more...

Global Warming

Sep. 21st, 2017 03:47 am
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[personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
 ... is not new, is more solid than ever, but people still aren't listening.

Just One Thing (21 September 2017)

Sep. 21st, 2017 08:21 am
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[personal profile] nanila posting in [community profile] awesomeers
It's challenge time!

Comment with Just One Thing you've accomplished in the last 24 hours or so. It doesn't have to be a hard thing, or even a thing that you think is particularly awesome. Just a thing that you did.

Feel free to share more than one thing if you're feeling particularly accomplished!

Extra credit: find someone in the comments and give them props for what they achieved!

Nothing is too big, too small, too strange or too cryptic. And in case you'd rather do this in private, anonymous comments are screened. I will only unscreen if you ask me to.

Go!

For trope_bingo

Sep. 21st, 2017 03:01 am
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[personal profile] ladyofleithian
Prompt: Rare Pairs

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Artist's Notes: Was mostly thinking of doing things on the Ben and Poe side, as that's mostly where I do my work -- in the backstory. Mostly they're based off my story "The Broken Edge", a.k.a. my giant-as-heck backstory for Ben and company. 

Icons under cut. )

Using the Mic

Sep. 21st, 2017 02:12 am
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[personal profile] sasha_feather posting in [community profile] access_fandom
What you're Saying when You Say "I Don't Need the Mic"
By Erika A. Hewitt
August 31, 2017

https://www.uua.org/worship/lab/what-youre-saying-when-you-say-i-dont-need-mic

This is directed at a Unitarian Universalist audience, but can apply to any group or event.

“When a mic is being used at a meeting and someone looks at it and says, ‘Do we really need this?’ I feel outright anger. That person just asked if people like me really exist and demanded that we defend ourselves.”

mini-crisis time

Sep. 20th, 2017 11:54 pm
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[personal profile] jhameia
So, I signed the TA contract, uploaded it, and waited for my student account balance to change... and it didn't. So it turns out, after asking around, that 6th year international students pay tuition AND non-resident tuition regardless of financial aid, and filing fee status is the only way to be exempt.

I emailed Grad Div about whether I'd have to re-petition to be on filing fee status should it come down to that, and also texted the prof about it. She called me, and we talked it over, and she seems keen to keep me as her TA. She's emailed the department chair, the dean of Grad Div, and some other admin people, and I guess going to look for a way to get my tuition waivered regardless because it's just not a well-known thing. I don't have a lot of hope for that but I'm holding out SOME optimism because I would love to TA for this class. But if it comes down to it, I can't justifying paying $10,000 to TA for a 10-week class, when I'm defending in Week 2. And that includes health insurance too, which was another solid reason to accept the TAship and get the fee waiver.

=/ Very unhappy with how this is shaking out. Fingers crossed that it works out.
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[personal profile] the_comfortable_courtesan

Maurice, though by now clothed, and in his right mind, lay on the bed with an arm across his eyes. This really would not do.

Once was something that could happen. Twice was – cause for perturbation. It was no longer the gratification of a passing inclination.

Why had MacDonald kissed him before leaving? Lightly, affectionately, as if they were devoted lovers facing a brief parting? It made no sense at all.

He heard several fellows come up the stairs: one, from the tittering, was Chumbell, and one – oh dear, that was Basil’s great honking laugh – and that voice that had so recently been whispering in his ear, soft words that he dared say were Scots for he did not understand them, only that from the tone, they were endearments and not the filth that some fellows liked to talk at such times – saying, oh, sure they will show the things to English milords for a little recompense – what, you have never been so far as Naples –

Basil was saying something about his desire to go to Greece - though Maurice confided that Basil liked his comforts entirely too much to undertake such a journey – and MacDonald remarked upon the very notable Greek influences in the Two Sicilies.

Oh, he would become a prime favourite in the club at the rate he was going, damn his eyes.

- you have not seen the Bexbury Bequest at the Museum? Sure, 'tis not on open display, save for a chaste vase or so, but 'tis entire possible for those of the cognoscenti to go examine the late Marquess’ very fine collections.

Chumbell was quite squeaking with excitement.

And then they were standing by the large canvas on the corridor wall just outside the door, and Chumbell murmuring about accuracy and Basil making claims for the need to make a telling composition - would they never go so that he might escape?

At length he heard them – after a deal of expatiation on various paintings – go back down the stairs. He stood up, tidied himself, smoothed down his hair yet again, and peeped out of the door to ensure that there were no onlookers.

He descended the stairs and nearly ran into Sir Stockwell. Ah, Allard, he said – he always manifested the very good ton of addressing Maurice as quite his equal, and not a fellow that he had once been wont to have for a guinea a time, when they were both younger. Come and take port with me.

Maurice had been greatly looking forward to a glass of gin – port was just not the same – but did not protest.

They went into Sir Stockwell’s private office. There was port already on the table. He motioned Maurice into a chair.

Well, he said, I am most exceeding grateful that we have prevailed upon MacDonald to join our number –

Maurice sipped his port and raised his eyebrows.

- but I confide Sir Hartley was quite right that 'twould have been premature to invite him any earlier, 'twas the proper thing to respect his mourning for Lord Raxdell. I was a little concerned about how Saythingport might vote –

Not Colonel Adams?

Adams will think any fellow that can argue about Alexander’s Greeks that settled among the Afghans and discourse on Hindu religion is a fine fellow. But I brought Saythingport to see the prudence of having a fellow so noted for sounding out mysteries among us – for sometimes we have matters we should desire to investigate but can hardly employ some private inquiry agent. I was very careful to choose an occasion when Mysell-Monting could not join us.

Maurice smiled and said he was surprised that Sir Stockwell had not joined the Diplomatic rather than the Admiralty.

But indeed, went on Sir Stockwell, I had a most particular concern of my own. He cleared his throat. I daresay, he said, that my wife will be coming to be dressed by you again, following this scandal of the silly women that were beguiled by an imposter that was neither French nor even a real dressmaker –

I should naturally be delighted, said Maurice, though I confide that she will go wherever Lady Trembourne does, and she, alas, is no patron of mine.

Frightful woman, said Sir Stockwell, if she were my wife – but that fool Trembourne quite grovels at her feet – but does my wife come to your establishment –

(Surely Sir Stockwell was not leading up to being granted very favourable terms when the bills for dressing his lady were made up?)

- I am in some suspicion that she has taken a lover. While she is at least so discreet in the matter that I have no definite knowledge as yet, is it so I should very much like to know who he is. Should not like her beguiled by some seducing rogue or brought into scandal. For indeed one would very much dislike to have to come to a crim.con. action.

Does you entire credit, said Maurice. Even does she not come to me, I daresay there may be ladies in the secret that may be persuaded to a little gossip.

Excellent, my dear fellow. He clapped Maurice heartily on the shoulder. Fellows such as we are well-advized to keep beforehand of matters.

Next morn, Maurice called in Miss Coggin to ask had they ever dressed Lady Sarah Channery, for his memory failed him in the matter.

Miss Coggin gave a loud and vulgar snort, and said, I daresay you would hardly have noticed her, for she ever came with Lady Trembourne, and even though she is better-born, one would have supposed her some poor relation or hired companion. And she is somewhat of the same style of looks –

Ah yes, now I recollect. Never required use of the discreet chamber?

Indeed not. A pathetic creature.

Maurice went to look over the books to see what further information on her patronage he might glean, and was about the task when he heard somebody mounting the back stairway with the clunking of a cane.

He looked out of the doorway. Biddy! he cried, jumping up and going to extend his arm to aid her ascent. Kissing her upon the cheek when she was panting at the top, he said, but sure we did not expect a visit from you. Here, come sit down and I will send for tea.

Biddy sat wheezing for a little while, and then said, came up to lay flowers on dear Thomasina’s grave, and do a little shopping for such matters as Worthing cannot provide. And I went take tea yesterday with dear Tibby, and sure I had heard nothing down by the seaside of this trouble you had been having.

Fie, did not wish bother you with it, the imposture is discovered, we have a deal of business on hand as a result –

I see what it is, you were ever a good thoughtful boy, did not want me to worry, bore it all on your own shoulders -

Did not so, he protested, opened the matter to Lady Bexbury –

There’s my clever boy!

- that quite entirely came at the imposture. But indeed, he said, sitting down and handing her a cup of tea, know not how I might have contrived without her intervention.

Has ever been a good friend to us, said Biddy. And her kindness to dear Thomasina – why, 'twas not even, la, if you cannot work I will go find some almshouse where you may reside so that you need not go upon the parish, no, 'twas keep her in the household among familiar faces, able advize Sophy, the best of everything. She dabbed at her eyes with a lacy handkerchief. O, sure she had savings put by, but in her state of health –

She had a good friend in you, said Maurice. And now, are you here, I should desire open to you some of my thoughts for the gowns for the coming Season, and the ladies that are coming here.

Biddy protested that sure, she was quite out of Town and knowledge of the latest styles, but Maurice confided that even did she not read scandal, she read the pages in the papers on matters of fashion more religiously than her Bible.

[syndicated profile] phd_comics_feed
Piled Higher & Deeper by Jorge Cham
www.phdcomics.com
Click on the title below to read the comic
title: "Your Social Parabola" - originally published 9/20/2017

For the latest news in PHD Comics, CLICK HERE!

he knows when you're awake

Sep. 20th, 2017 10:52 pm
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[personal profile] cmdr_zoom
I've just become aware of a new (~10 years old) Christmas marketing gimmick "tradition", the Elf on the Shelf.
My first reaction - and it seems, from some of the articles I've found, I'm not alone - was:
"It's never too early to start indoctrinating your children to accept our post-privacy world of omnisurveillance."

Support equipment returned

Sep. 21st, 2017 05:38 pm
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[personal profile] soon_lee
From top clockwise: Perching stool, walker, toilet frame with seat, shower stool.
20170920_144742
https://flic.kr/p/YC5R7C

About two weeks ago, I was allowed to put weight on my dodgy leg. That made a massive difference to my mobility. I've been walking on it (gingerly at first) as much as I can. Earlier this week, the knee brace came off which means I can bend my knee again.

The mobility assistance people didn't waste any time arranging to collect the support equipment. So now it is on to the next stage of the recovery process.

Wednesday: Basic Instructions

Sep. 21st, 2017 12:36 am
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[personal profile] disgruntledgirl


Nothing is less manly than worrying about whether what you’re doing is manly or not. Picture Clint Eastwood worrying about if what he’s doing is “manly.” I can’t. The man became famous wearing a poncho, and playing a character called “Blondie.” He didn’t worry about if it looked manly. He recognized that he made it look manly by being the one doing it.

John Wayne, on the other hand, did worry about looking manly. He once Gave Kirk Douglas a hard time about playing “effeminate weaklings.” To be fair, that might have been the mental fallout from growing up with the name Marion.
- Scott Meyers


I've had a heck of a day. I have no idea what I've accomplished with insurance. I was told I was accepted, then I was told they could get it cheaper for me but Kevin would be nearly double - it still falls under $1000 a month but I'm staring at 4 rejection letters 3 from one insurance company and 1 from the insurance company I thought I WAS dealing with. Now somehow in all of this, I've managed to reapply.
This is what I get for handling a chiro bill and optometrist visit (whoops - are you sure you can't leave us your glasses? No.) at the same time while a friend talks to me about a potential job and needs my resume.
Why did everything have to happen in those 30 minutes? I had all goddamned day.


Last night, we caught Perturbator in concert. It was great! I'd write more but I'm freezing for some reason. I hope I didn't catch some concert crude.

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Arthur D. Hlavaty

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